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Fearful avoidant

Are you uncomfortable getting close to others, and find it difficult to trust and depend on them? If so, then your attachment style could be fearful avoidant (having negative views of self and others).

The characteristics of a fearful avoidant style is:

  • Unresolved mindset and emotions; frightened by memories of prior traumas. Losses from the past have not been mourned or resolved.
  • Cannot tolerate emotional closeness in a relationship; argumentative, rages, unable to regulate emotions; abusive and dysfunctional relationships. Recreating past patterns.
  • Intrusive and frightening traumatic memories and triggers; dissociates to avoid pain; severe depression.
  • Antisocial; lack of empathy and remorse; aggressive and punitive; narcissistic, no regard for rules; substance abuse and criminality.
  • Likely to maltreat own children; scripts children into past unresolved attachments; triggered into anger and fear by parent–child interaction; own children often develop disorganized attachment.

If you are having these characteristics, take heart and know there is a way out. The secure style is the ideal way and manner to be in a relationship.

Contact me to schedule an appointment to discuss and guide you how to resolve the specific issues you are facing. Online and in-person therapy are available. Medical aid tariffs apply.

Other 3 styles of attachment in relationship are:

  1. Ambivalent (Preoccupied) individuals have negative views of self and positive views of others.
  2. Avoidant (Dismissive) individuals have a positive view of self and a negative view of others.
  3. Secure individuals have positive views of both self and of others.

Next week by God’s grace we will investigate the Ambivalent (Preoccupied) style in detail; look out for the next post or ask to be friends with our Facebook.

Guidance from the Word:

Jeremiah 30:17

‘I will restore your health, and I will heal your wounds,’ declares the Lord.”

2 Corinthians 5:17

 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

Revelations 21:4

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more. There will be no mourning, crying, or pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”




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