Preocupied

Is your way of doing and thinking of relationships characterized by the following?

Doubt in your own competence and efficacy.

Trust in the ability and dependability of others.

Seek others’ help when distressed.

Crave closeness and intimacy and is very insecure about a relationship.

For example, saying and thinking the following: “I want to be extremely emotionally close (merge) with others, but others are reluctant to get as close as I would like”.

Worry often that your partner does not love or value you and will abandon you.

Your inordinate need for closeness scares people away.

If this is the wat how you think and act, then you have a preoccupied attachment style (individuals have negative views of self and positive views of others).

If you are having these characteristics, take heart and know there is a way out. The secure style is the ideal way and manner to enjoy relationships. Other 3 styles of attachment in relationship are:

Fearful Avoidant (having negative views of self and others).

Avoidant (Dismissive) individuals have a positive view of self and a negative view of others. Secure individuals have positive views of both self and of others.

Next week by God’s grace we will investigate the Avoidant (Dismissive) style in detail; look out for the next post or ask to be friends with our Facebook.

Guidance from Scripture: Psalm 139 verse 13 and 14

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvellous—how well I know it.